Ruby Nation

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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Sonichu Sub-Episode 6 Critical Review: A Documentary On Human Despair

If you tried to forget the horror, I won't let you

Christian Weston Chandler has disappeared from the internet in recent weeks-- at least, he's disappeared from the parts of the internet that he doesn't like. He's still spending the majority of his life on the PlayStation Network, playing games bought with taxpayer money and racking up trophies for his "achievements". I'd lost my enthusiasm for writing these reviews at first, because the momentum of his saga was lost. However, though Chandler may have left being an amusing failure on the internet behind so he can return to being a tragic failure in real life, his body of work remains.

We must never forget.

Sonichu Sub-Episode 6 is a bizarre attempt at world-building, as Chris-Chan gives us a documentary on the 'evil' Jerkops. In this so-called Backyard Safari, Chris-Chan is the authoritative voice narrating the truth about his mall security nemeses. Presumably, this is a propaganda film distributed through CWCVille to mold public opinion. Since CWCville already has a Mayor-For-Life who maintains order through his private military of electric hedgehogs, the idea that it's a totalitarian state is hardly a stretch.

There is disturbing similarity between this documentary and the racist propaganda used by various governments, as Chris-Chan takes great pains to convince us that the Jerkops are sub-human. According to Chris-Chan, the Jerkops only think evil and naughty thoughts, are covered with disgusting veins and hair under their clothes, and instinctually loathe virgins. The Jerkhief is most distrubing of all, weighing 1'500 pounds of bone and blubber. What makes this especially disturbing is Chris-Chan's assertion that Jerkops are recruited via brain-washing the mentally handicapped, so he's effectively slaughtering helpless human beings without a care in the world. Of course, Chandler has already dehumanized his enemies, as bigots tend to do. It's easier if you assume your target doesn't feel pain.

This chapter demonstrates both why Christian Weston Chandler the phenomenon is so fascinating, and why Christian Weston Chandler the individual isn't deserving of sympathy. Chandler pursues his targets with disgusting vitriol, but his hang-ups are so bizarre and petty that he's as hilarious as he is disturbing. I mean, his fictional city uses propaganda to fan the flames of hatred against mall security officers who try to stop him from hitting on any boyfriend-free girl that moves. Who else would think up such a thing without a note of irony? For that matter, who could come up with such a concept even with irony?


  1. I really was trying to forget the horror, you know, especially since I now read all of CC's dialogue with the Toyman voice.

    But this sentence made the whole thing worthwhile:

    "Since CWCville already has a Mayor-For-Life who maintains order through his private military of electric hedgehogs, the idea that it's a totalitarian state is hardly a stretch."

    That's the greatest sentence I've read/heard since the Cinema Snob's "He looks like the word 'murderer'! Stop confronting him!"

  2. If you go even further into the chamber of horrors, you'll find Chris using his sister to sexually distract the Jerkops before he Mind Rapes them into lining up like bowling pins, and crushes them with a giant bowling ball.

    Barring the fact that pitting a Chris with these kinds of powers against the Jerkops has all the dramatic tension of pitting Superman against Woody Allen, we see yet again more than we need to about Chris's apparent lust for his own Distaff Counterpart, which leads to both all kinds of Squick and all kinds of High Octane Nightmare Fuel that I would really rather not cover.

    Rather, I would instead like to pick up on the thread that's been running throughout Neil's Sonichu reviews, namely disability and how the people who have particular conditions handle this part of their lives.

    I have a friend in my Toastmasters group named David. I don't know exactly what his condition is, and in any event it doesn't particularly matter. What does matter, however, is what he's been doing with his life. He gets out of the house on a regular basis to interact with other people, most particularly at our weekly meetings. He gets support payments from the government, but he also has a job bagging groceries. He's also actively seeking out employment that he'd like better, such as furniture repair. He loves to tinker with old electronics, and has made a hobby of repairing old radios, lamps and other knicknacks because it brings him pleasure. He might even have been able to make a living in electronic repair, except that most of the gizmos he likes to tinker with are more or less out of date. He occasionally has problems with social cues, but when he's aware that there's an issue he takes steps to learn from and correct it.

    Is David living like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, in glamor, wealth and fortune? No, but he is actively participating in the world around him, doing things that bring him pleasure and give his life meaning. He doesn't let his condition get him down, and accepts it as part of his life. He might not be a famous actor or sports star, but then that sort of lifestyle wouldn't appeal to him anyway.

    Compare that to Christian Chandler, who alternates between denying his condition, insulting other people with disabilities and retreating behind it when he needs some sort of crutch to explain his failures in life. He refuses to bathe or get a job, preferring to sponge off the taxpayers-again, David needs some help making ends meet, but he's still pulling his own weight-and douse himself with AXE body spray. He doesn't even bother trying to pick up on social cues or show any appreciation for peoples' efforts to help him, instead demonizing them when they say things he doesn't want to hear, as Mary Lee Walsh learned the hard way. He persists in his ridiculous delusions that he can somehow become a rich and famous comic book writer and game designer without displaying any kind of creativity or skill besides media plagiarism.

    David's a cool guy, one who accepts what fate has dealt him and continually tries to better himself. If you ever needed his help, he'd be more than happy to lend it.

    Christian Weston Chandler either tries to deny his lot in life or use it as a crutch, all while refusing to respect other peoples' boundaries, whether they be the boundaries of his "gal pals" or local mall security guards. Nothing is ever his fault, and he claims not to recognize anyone else's rights or laws besides his own, thinking that his own entitlement matters more than anything else.

    On a meta-level, there's almost a superhero/supervillain dichotomy going on here. David is akin to the superhero who accepts what his life is like and tries to continually improve himself and the world around him, while Chandler is like the supervillain who thinks the world owes him something and insists on holding a ridiculous sense of entitlement and delusion.