Ruby Nation

Ruby Nation
Ruby Nation: The Webcomic

Friday, April 13, 2012

Chris-Chan Loses Virginity, Cosmic Order Somehow Survives


I've largely stopped covering Chris-Chan's antics on this blog, partly because he hasn't done much comic-related stuff in the past few years (with his saga now focused more on his real-life antics and the constant troll surveillance that lets us see all his failings), but mostly because I didn't want to give people the wrong idea about why he's so hilarious. I wanted to make clear that autism has no more to do with his unique lifestyle and personality than anything else, be it his sheltered upbringing, his inflated ego, the trolls manipulating him into getting wackier and wackier, or his general fear of change. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to have any effect on people who still use autism as an insult against him, especially since Chris-Chan seems to determined to perpetuate his identity as a " high-functioning autistic " (and thus, shaming everyone on the autism spectrum).

Still, there is something that might be big news for those still following Chris-Chan's saga; he finally lost his virginity. Since most of his antics were motivated by his Love Quest, the desire to find a woman that fits his criteria (re: the body of a Barbie doll with the mind of his mother), this means that the great saga of his life up until now is over. No longer is he a virgin with rage. However, Chris-Chan clearly didn't get a girlfriend, but a call girl with an all-time record in low standards. The comments about her being in her early-20's, praising him for being "bigger" than her last hook-up, and that he won't tell everyone the details except his "Sweetheart-to-Be" (who I presume is Jackie Romy, the poor girl) suggests that it was a one-time hookup. And since he's Chris-Chan, a pock-marked obese balding thirty-year-old who dresses like a fifteen-year-old girl, I assume it had to involve a large financial gain on her part, out of the pocket of the State of Virginia.

All this proves is that virginity and maturity have no correlation.

Chris-Chan didn't "achieve" anything by having sex for the first time. He is no more of a man than he was before, by which I mean a horribly egocentric and depraved man-child. He's probably even less of a man, because he spent money that could've gone towards something useful on what he calls "China". There is no shame being an older virgin, but there is plenty of shame in talking about it constantly, harassing women at every corner, and becoming internet-famous with a largely plagiarized webcomic in order to get laid (the most misguided attempt at becoming desirable in human history).

Of course, there's also the possibility that he just made the whole thing up, making the whole situation even more pathetic. Even so, unless he goes down the prostitution route again (or for the first time), Chris-Chan's only sexual outlet will remain the horrible BDSM marriage of Sonichu and Rosechu.

6 comments:

  1. first time reader, I enjoy your style and am going to check back when I get the chance, I'm autistic as well and agree that this man (if he can be called that) is disgusting. Also hookers don't count. The lose of virginity is something that is meant to mean something and be shared with a person you love. Without that its just meaningless sex for the purpose of, well sex and you don't gain the deeper connection you would with the person you love.
    -Kitty

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  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. uh... so who cares? some guy has sex, big deal, literally hundreds of millions of people do it all the time. just cause he's an asshole doesn't mean he should never get laid.

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  4. I really really really don't get what the issue here is...? How is this relevant or important to anyone at all? Pretty much EVERYONE has sex at some point or other...

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  5. to the people asking why this is relevant, read about chris-chan and then you'll be just as horrified as the rest of us by the thought of him having sex.
    After that you can look for the video of him having sex with a blow-up doll if you want...that one's on you

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